Process

A week ago I posted about going to the ER (So...), and at the end of the post I noted that I would be posting an elaboration on a observation about my recovery process. This is that post.

Many caring people have asked me along the way how I'm doing. Those who are aware of some of the bumps I've had along the way often ask if I'm feeling better in reference to one of those issues (some of which have been noted in this blog). I appreciate the care and concern. The frustrating part for me is knowing how to answer those questions.

It's frustrating because the process of recovering from the transplant itself and adapting to my new normal has not been a linear process. This process is different than any recovery I've ever had previously (and I've had several surgeries plus lots of illnesses, etc.). Every previous incident has been: issue (torn rotator cuff, flu, cold, etc.); treatment (surgery, medication, bed rest, etc.); recovery (rehab, symptoms pass, feel normal again); and then back to everyday life.

This situation is different. It started normally: issue (kidney disease and failure); treatment (transplant surgery); and recovery (rest, etc.). Yet in the recovery phase things changed. Yes, it was a major issue and a major treatment. But it has been more than that. My body is different now. I have a great new kidney, but to keep it, I've been on lots of medications, some of which continue for life. That means I'm more susceptible to infections, and getting over them takes longer and isn't as smooth. (Make no mistake - I am not complaining.) I have to be careful of who I'm around, what I touch, what I eat, and more. Any of those areas can result in problems for me, and some have.

The last two months have really brought this to my awareness. While the kidney has functioned great throughout, I've had several issues that have knocked me about. Not only do they hit me hard, they don't just clear up with treatment. They take a toll on me, and it takes more time and intervention to recover from them.

Take the presumed viral infection from 10 days ago. The mere fact that my temp was elevated was enough to send me to the ER and have a battery of tests run. Then for two days afterward I kept a close eye on my vitals to make sure things didn't get worse. Prior to the transplant, I have no doubt that I simply would have rested for a day or two and maybe taken some Tylenol, and once the virus had run its course, I would have been back at normal life.

My new reality (at least so far) is that this is an ongoing process, with lots of potential for bumps along the way, sometimes more than one at a time, and sometimes hard to sort out. I'm fine with that, especially now that I recognize it. This is my life now, and it's much better than what it might have been.

Which brings me back to the frustration. I don't know how to answer those questions. How am I doing? Today maybe really good, tomorrow not so good at all. Am I better now? I might be better than yesterday, and I might even be over whatever issue we're referring to, but I never know for certain that I'm over something, and even then there may be an ancillary issue to deal with. The easy answer (and one reason I continue to post here) is to check the blog. But I know many people don't do that, for whatever reason.

In lieu of trying to explain what is actually going on at an one point in time, I usually give a simple, rather cursory reply. It's easier, though less accurate, and it saves me repeating myself several times over (another reason for this blog). So, if you really want to know what is going on with me, check here first., and keep in mind that this is an ongoing process. [Note: I often delay posting to the blog while waiting for things to sort themselves out, but that doesn't always work. I do plan to continue to post for the foreseeable future.]

I hope this is helpful. And the process continues....